Apparently, if you were watching the Super Bowl 43: Pittsburgh Steelers vs. Arizona Cardinals Sunday game in Tucson, Arizona, it was less boring. Why? Because, Comcast added porn. Brilliant idea, but honestly, I was expecting Cox to come up with this first.
With under three minutes left after Larry Fitzgerald’s heroic comebackish touchdown for the Cardinals, a video feed from Club Jenna abruptly interrupted the broadcast. During the 30 second porn feed, super-pornstar Evan Stone was shown swinging his cock around.
Comcast engineers have no explanation for the incident. We chalk to it up to good luck. Either way, it was the cheapest and most entertaining 30 second spot during the whole fucking game. If you want to see Evan Stone swing his cock around some more, click to Club Jenna.
See Evan Stone’s uncensored Super Bowl penis video
Here are some additional clips of his infamous penis. Thanks Evan!
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The show was a complete circus. And why wouldn’t it be? As an interviewer, Tyra is a halfwit goof who claws her way through interviews. So, yeah ex-sandwich maker Kurt Wild, JetSet Men’s Aaron James and former Straight College Men’s Dean Coxx, it makes total sense to go on her campy national TV show while you attempt to justify being gay-for-pay to an audience that is largely unfamiliar with the phrase and was sitting in Maury’s audience just hours earlier encouraging a couple of GLBT Chinese ape rabbit twins to rip each others eyes out. And let’s not forget, this is the Tyra you’ll be interviewed by:
But, the worst part of Tyra Banks’s gay-for-pay show was that our porn star friends were neither very candid nor clear. Kurt was the worst. His cringe inducing answers are best described as dumb and dumber. His explanations about his gay-for-pay label were hopelessly perplexing and unbelievable. And it certainly didn’t help that his strange head rubbing and fidgeting made him look guilty of something terrible. Oh and, the highlight of course was where he epitomized his conundrum by correcting Tyra about how his girlfriend was actually his wife. Only moments later to correct himself by saying that she was actually his fiancée. Good one Kurt, but, I like you more when the things coming out of your mouth sound more like this:
On the other hand, Aaron James and Dean Coxx weren’t as bad, but not by much. Dean was more candid, but was left dashed after his bisexual stripper girlfriend was more so. And Aaron, well, he was okay, but fell apart quickly, looking defensive. And then his mom stood up. Oy vey!
If only they had formulated intelligent, brief and 96% honest answers before going on the show and watched Frost Nixon. Bullshit was flying everywhere, answers were convoluted and by the end, nothing effective had been said. For example, I would have said, “Lookey here Tyrell, we’s all have a price <head slide>, mmm… hmmm…. So, while yo’ rich bitch model ass mays be esspennssive, all black labels nnn…. shit, I’z beeezz alll Walmart affartable. See, I just cheap, das all you microphone holdin’ ho. <head slide, eyes lock on Tyra> Ooohs, bitcjj I gonee rip yo’ damn weave outta yo’ hett… <lunge towards Tyra and grab hair, yank and then scream> Heelelpp! Trya try’in tah killl me! Cochran! Com’ on! I sue you bitch! Sue you! I be rich! RICH!”
Anyway, towards the end, the sideshow started. A group of straight gay bar tenders, the bearded lady and trio of anti gay-for-pay Povich’esque nobodys showed up. The most obnoxious being Sean Kennedy, who is an editor with the Advocate and apparently, the leader of the “Gay KK” movement. This puny little girl was rambling on about how gay-for-pay pornstars were bad for the community and straight guys shouldn’t work in gay bars. Meanwhile, he’s jerked to heaps of gay-for-pay porn and would suck that straight bar tending cock in the blink of an eye. Nothing worse than a hypocrite, or, a queen in denial.
Speaking of which, I almost forgot about Matt Sanchez, a.k.a Rod Majors a.k.a Pierre LaBranche. Matt is a former Marine, pornstar and is now a writer, journalist, Marine Corps reservist, singer, songwriter and dancer. On the show, he warned the younger, less hung and less Puerto Rican pornstars that their gay-for-pay paydays will catch up with them in the future. Apparently, Anne Coulter wasn’t too happy about his last video, “Touched by an Anal”.
Personally, I’m not convinced. I mean, sure, it’s bad if you later end up in a room where Anne Coulter just finished screaming “faggot”, but, what doofus does that? On the other hand, if you end up working at Subway, it doesn’t matter. Oh wait, ok, nevermind, scratch that. How about a coal worker? Eh, hmmm… no, I can see the mining jokes getting annoying. Hmm.. I give up. But, I do get what Matt was getting at. Here is my interpretation of it: Hot studs and bitches, if you’re thinking about becoming a pornstar and have plans to cover it up in the future, don’t forget the sex change.
Perhaps I’m queer, but can’t you suck cock and not be a flaming lunatic? Cock is a private enterprise. The only thing others need to be convinced of is to mind their own fucking business. You don’t shit on my lawn, and I won’t slash your tires. And the last thing I want is some fruit running around demanding the back of the bus be reserved for cock smokers.
Pornstars, focus on fucking. Fags and fans, focus on them. And for the rest of you, unless you click here, get the frack out.
Watch Tyra Banks’s Gay-For-Pay Show
Here are 5 YouTube video clips of the Tyra Banks gay-for-pay interview. Thanks Tyra!
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Prince William’s uncut penis made a public appearance online yesterday. A paparazzi, attempting to photograph a section of fence, accidentally took pictures of Prince William peeing. Personally, I’m offended by this photo. It’s not clear enough, and that really offends me.
The photos of Prince William and his urinating penis were taken somewhere in South Africa. Based on our analysis of the photos, we have no reason to believe he was in a desert area of Africa. So, we think he’s in the parts of Africa with trees. Which basically means he has to be on the set of Survivor: Gabon, because, everyone knows there aren’t any trees in Africa. Anyway, he was there doing something undoubtedly altruistic, like peeing on a fence. Other reports indicate that he was playing Polo and took a break to pee on the fence. Either way, that’s him, Prince William, pissing on an African fence.
Take note of the way Prince William is scissor pinching his penis. Like he’s stressed out, and he’s about to smoke it. Or, he’s crazy and is pretending to cut it off. Now that I think of it, he could also be pretending he’s got a vagina and is masturbating while he pees on an African barbed wire fence on the set of Survivor: Gabon.
Here is the original video that started it all. There is this really annoying sound in the video and I can’t wait for you to hear it.
Video: Prince William holding his uncut penis while peeing on a fence
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His multiple fuck and other various sex scenes are brilliantly intense, as is his character in general. Love the show and if you’re not already watching it, you should be. Catch it on HBO on Sundays at 9 PM. Oh and, Ryan Kwanten along with his fellow True Blood co-stars Stephen Moyer, Sam Trammell, Alexander Skarsgard, Nelsan Ellis and Grahan Shiels can be seen naked online at nude male celebrity mega-sites malestars.com and starmale.com. Enjoy!
Update: Here is a video clip from last night’s episode.